I hate my body thoughts: How to end the self-sabotage…
Do you regularly think: “I hate my body”?
Brushing these thoughts aside is like picking up your right arm with your left hand and hitting yourself in the face. You are regularly inflicting yourself with pain you don’t need to inflict on yourself.
Though, read on, and you’ll learn it’s not your fault.
Regardless, “I hate my body” thoughts shrink the very epitome of what you’re able to achieve in life. It’s easy to understand why when you remind yourself of this basic tenet of human psychology: Your thoughts shape your behaviors and actions and amount to the results you produce.
So, doing nothing about your “I hate my body” thoughts is truly self-sabotage.
The good news is, you can free yourself. And it might shock you how simple it is. This article shows you how.
You can unwind years of self-hatred about your appearance by understanding how your “I hate my body” thoughts got embedded in your mind and by learning the most effective strategy to rewire your brain to think more positive thoughts.
Before you read the 3 step process below, imagine what it would be like to glance in the the mirror before you head out into the world. Instead of thinking ,”ugh, I hate my body”, you think, “I’m awesome”, or “I look great”, or “I am a freakin’ gift to the world”.
What could you achieve with that mindset?
How about anything you want.
It is possible to get there. I was a once-upon-a-time body hater. But I’m now a NY bestselling writer and mindset expert in the personal growth industry.
I lived with “I hate my body thoughts” for the first quarter of my life. They landed me in a hospital bed close to death. It’s why my mission is to free anyone who is struggling today by sharing what I know from years of formal training in neuroscience and working with experts in my industry.
“I hate my body” thoughts left alone can lead to serious health issues later that include: metabollic disorders, obesity, and depression. They can also lead to bad relationships, jobs you don’t love, and financial instability.
Today my internal inner state is one of self-love, appreciation, and peace. I experience more joy, higher levels of success, and more fun in life. And you can have that too. And you should.
So here is what you need to do to drop the “I hate my body” thoughts and grow a positive body image…
Step 1: Understand why you have “I hate my body” thoughts
Understanding why you have “I hate my body” thoughts is a useful first step to dismantling them. Once you know how they go created it can be easier to uncreate them.
You must understand that “I hate my body” thoughts are not your fault.
It’s very common to have a bad thought about yourself and then beat yourself up for even having the thought. If that’s you, stop the madness. Blame your environment instead.
There are two underlying environmental issues you can’t control at play…
#1: You’ve been conditioned to hate your body
It may surprise you that it’s more common for people to hate their body than not. According to market research group Ipsos, most Americans are unhappy with their physical appearance. 83 percent of women and 74 percent of men do not like what they see in the mirror.
#2: You’ve connected your appearance to your self-worth
What does that mean? Well, when you don’t look good, you often tell yourself you’re not good enough. When in actuality you are always good enough. Who you are – the qualities you possess, your behaviours and the skills you share with the world – has nothing to do with how you look.
Your body is your container. It holds you. ‘You’ are your behaviors, attitude, the contribution you are with other people.
That’s the kind of thinking you’ll eventually get to when unwire your “I hate my body” thoughts.
Now, here’s how those two underlying problems that have you think “I hate my body” got created…
From the 0-7 all humans require the love of others to survive. It’s baked into our biology. Babies can’t feed and clothe themselves. They need help. To get the attention of others they use their voices, facial expressions, and bodies to say “pay attention to me.”
Early on, all humans learn that they can use their body to get what they want. This is the start of what can later become a dysfunctional relationship where self-worth is connected to physical appearance. Once you’re old enough to take care of yourself, you don’t need to use your body. Yet your subconscious mind has already been trained.
Most people also grow up in societies that largely have dysfunctional, unrealistic beauty ideals. The nasty truth about the physical expections most women and men adhere to is: They are completely made up. And many have been created by the beauty industry itself to sell products.
As early as the 19th century celebrity endorsement was already being used to sell one of the earliest beauty products, which was soap. After the Black Death wiped out large numbers of people bunch of smart entrepreneurs got together and found wealthy people to sell soap to rest of the population.
And earliest perfumes were created to give each individual their own scent to be known by. The idea sold then was if you were cool in the early 20th century you wore perfume. So then everyone wanted it. The same goes for lipstick in 20th century being associated with actresses.
The idea about beauty ideals that’s sold: If you uphold the ideal you’re awesome. If you don’t, you’re worthless.
That is not true at all. Yet most people buy into it. Well, more like they are indoctrinated to think this. So it makes sense why many people hold themselves to unreasonable ideals.
To use the common analogy of a fish that doesn’t know it’s in water, when it comes to what’s beautiful most people are like a fish swimming in a nasty pond. And, they don’t even know it’s nasty, because they’ve never been in clean water.
But let’s say one day they wake up and start to smell their own stench. They realize they’re dirty. Then they start to notice the water is the problem. They start to they might like to be in clean water for a change.
These beauty ideals aren’t working for most people, yet the agencies that control the communication at the top have the money and the power. They dominate the messages that reach the most people.
After reading this, you might be resigned about the whole situation. You might think “there’s nothing I can do, I might as well accept succumb to my I hate my body thoughts”. Nope. The good news is, you are smarter than your environment. You can choose what you want to believe. Once you free yourself of the self-sabotage, you can free others. There’s a better life.
If you’re having “I hate my body” thoughts it’s good. Because it’s the start of embarking on a path to freedom. You’re about to become one of the small fraction of people that are unstoppable in life. Who know how worthy they regardless of what they look like.
And only then will you learn another big secret: Nurturing a healthier thoughts about your body makes you more beautiful. Loving yourself on the inside radiates out. You’ll be more attractive to whoever you want to attract.
Step 2: Leverage yourself
Back to dirty fish analogy, a fish that’s in dirty water and realizes it is, and every other fish too, might simply put up with it anyways. They might think, “well everyone else puts up with this filthy environment. I guess that’s the way it is.”
That can happen with “I hate my body” thoughts too. Many people notice their thoughts, find out other people have those thoughts, have no clue how to break free of them, and so they live them.
So, if you want to be free of the nasty thoughts you first may need to fight your own resignation. You need get present to serious restraints these thoughts are causing you. You also have to amplify your now situation into the future. When you do, you might see how horrible that looks.
Humans need emotional leverage to take action. When you start feeling more pain than pleasure, only then will you do something about it.
This is why it’s great to hear the story of others. Let me help you with this. Here is how “I hate my body” controlled the first quarter of my life and put me in a hospital bed.
It’s very likely something similar could happen to you.
I used to have “I hate my body” thoughts every day multiple times a day. Because of these thoughts I restricted what I ate. I became addicted to being skinny. And on days where I hated my body most I’d punish myself. I’d over-exercise, or restrict my food, or slap on more makeup. Sometimes I avoided social situations if I feel I looked good enough that day. Some nights I would drown my emotions in food by bingeing. I even had times where I would seek love from people who didn’t appreciate me because I needed the validation.
“I hate my body” thoughts are more than internal dialogue that you think you’re brushing aside. These thoughts are severely holding you back. They lead to really bad outcomes, which often perpetuates the cycle. Consider these common cycles:
- “I hate my body” –> so I over-exercise and restrict my diet to feel better –> I get a addicted and eventually seriously injure my body or cause major health risks to myself
- “I hate my body” –> so I buy more clothes, more cosmetics than I should –> My need to buy results in negative spending habits where I am never getting ahead financially, always living pay check to pay check
- “I hate my body” –> so when I get attention from others it fulfills my desparate desire to feel worthy –> I end up in relationships with people who don’t treat well
- “I hate my body” –> so I am not as confident as I could be at work –> I work quietly at my desk while my coworker gets the promotion
- “I hate my body” –> so I settle for a partner who I’m not physically attracted to–> I am decently happy but not passionate about my current mate
“I hate my body” thoughts are more than internal dialogue. Let them run and you’ll cause yourself serious pain.
I also know what it’s like to not do anything about your “I hate my body” thoughts. I was in such a disfunctional thought pattern that I didn’t care if I was risking my health to be skinny. I starved myself so bad that I ended up in a hospital bed. I almost died.
Why would anyone do that? Well, it’s quite common too.
Your “I hate my body” thoughts are horrible and you don’t want them, but you are also getting some payoff from them. It’s why you may not be doing anything to change those thoughts.
My “I hate my body thoughts” kept me skinny. That was more important to me than anything else in lfie.
What I didn’t realize is my behaviors would eventually lead me to my greatest fear. I starved myself so bad my body turned against me. It needed nourishment and it signalled to my brain that I desperately needed to eat. I started bingeing. I gained 30lbs because I couldn’t stop. I became a food addict.
So, here is how to leverage yourself so you don’t continue the cycle that will eventually have your body or life turn on you:
- Notice the cycles that cause you pain
- Amplify them and ask yourself: “If I do nothing about this, what is worst case scenario for my future”?
Seriously think about this. Close your eyes and imagine that future. Feel that negative future with emotion. Do this regularly. You’ll start to connect pain with your current behaviors. And you’ll slowly start to take new actions.
Step 3: Retrain your brain to into positive body thought patterns
Your “I hate body thoughts” were developed over many years. They get embedded into you from events that occur in your life where you feel deep emotion.
For instance, a kid in your class picks one you for taking another slice of pizza out of the box. In front of peers he yells: “Fatty is having another piece!” In that moment, you might develop a belief like, “I am fat and worthless”, or, “I shouldn’t eat so much”, or, “there is something wrong with me”.
These early beliefs are carried into adulthood and start to shape your behaviors.
But as an adult you are now not the same person. You have control. You have the ability to shift your beliefs because your brain is plastic. In other words, you can change the way you think. You can control your thoughts so they are healthier. And this leads to healthier behaviors and outcomes.
Most people fail at trying to think new thoughts because they try to put a new thought overtop of an old thought without understanding how the brain works.
Here is what you must do instead: Work with your biology to successfully rewire your thinking.
Your brain likes evidence. So you must give it new evidence-based thoughts it can’t dispute.
You also must disconnect the neuro-association you’ve created that connects your self-worth with your body. The best way to explain it is to say you have your wires crossed. You need to splice them. You need to put each separate thought back where it belongs.
It’s easy to do this when you connect the new thoughts with pleasure. You need to make thinking these new positive fun so they become the new habit.
Remember your “I hate my body” thoughts were created over time. So you need to rethink your new thoughts many times to make them habitual.
Anyone can do this work. Start with really taking some time today to reflect on the severity of what your “I hate my body” thoughts are causing to you and your life. What do you think a future of living with these thoughts holds if you do nothing about them?
You can free yourself. Life without “I hate my body” thoughts is freeing. I want every woman to know what that’s like. So I’ve created a simple tool to make it easy.
It uses uses neuroscientific principles to retrain your brain and drop the “I hate my body” thoughts forever. Grab the free audio tool here.