My mission in life is to raise emotional intelligence across the globe
I’ve been studying the science of personal transformation for over a decade. I am an author and book collaborator/ghostwriter to experts in my field. My latest project is with Vishen Lakhiani the #1 New York Times Bestselling Author of The Code of The Extraordinary Mind, and founder of Mindvalley.com .
I use this site as my platform to share micro blog posts, personal growth hacks, and reviews of personal growth experiences, events, and books.
Everything I write has one objective: To give more people access to the simplest, most effective tools for busting through the limiting beliefs that hold them back.
How I got here:
When I was 21, I stood in a public washroom staring at the same reflection I’d always looked at, but this time I was entranced by the woman I saw. The usual noise in my head that had been screaming: “I hate you!…you’re so ugly!…gawd, you suck!“…was gone. I now looked at myself and thought: “Wow, you are an incredible person, and so powerful, and talented, and stunning inside and out.”
In my early years, I was conditioned to relate to myself as a fat kid. In my mind, that also meant that I was worthless. I was overweight and ridiculed for it by my peers. I also often felt shamed by the adults around me. And so, as I grew up, I decided I wasn’t good enough and life was hard for me. If you watch the TV show This Is US, my childhood was similar to that of Chrissy Metz’ character.
I used to think: If I could ever love myself that would be an out-of-this world experience. I also believed that that was not most people’s reality. In my teens, I finally lost the weight. And out of school, I racked up some remarkable accomplishments. Though, I was dissatisfied by my life, always seeking more. I shrugged it off for many years by rationalizing that it was normal.
Then, unexpectedly, I discovered I was wrong.
It was Day 2 of a three-day personal growth seminar called The Landmark Forum, and I deconstructed and then mercilessly demolished the disempowering story I had been telling myself for almost two decades. It was my first “transformational learning experience”. That was the moment I was hooked.
I suddenly had new tools. And the world had changed overnight. Though it hadn’t. I had. It was a pivotal moment an I learned a crucial life lesson:
Focus on inward growth, and your life expands outwardly in all areas.
Driven by this new knowledge, my life was never the same again. And what came next was astonishing.
My name is Kay, and I am a personal growth junkie
I became obsessed with personal growth. My personal transformation made me giddy, and renewed, and empowered. I was fascinated by this new internal state. I wanted to know how it worked. And so, I started to study the science behind it.
Until that point, I’d been at university studying psychology in stuffy study halls. I’d been personally testing common psychological techniques. But, they were largely out of date, and mostly useless.
Yet, after my first transformational experience at the weekend course, the tools I learned and was applying were getting me results. In short order, I tripled my income, got my dream job, got my dream condo, and got my dream body. I was crushing life. So I sought out the most aggressive personal growth programs I could find.
The techniques I learned allowed me to consistently bust the mental barriers holding me back. I learned how to manipulate my reality in my favor. The world around cooperated, giving me what I wanted and needed. I kept thinking: Why are these skills not being taught in schools? People need these skills.
So of course I couldn’t remain a personal growth student. I fast became a coach. Eventually I trained to a level where I was coaching coaches. I wanted to share more of what I was learning. And I came to love personal growth work more than my day job as an event planner. Then that became a serious problem.
By all measures, I was successful in my career. I was good at it, and had worked hard for it. Event planning is about creating an experience for people; Lifting them out of their lives and into a created, and temporary fantasy. A great event planner is a master at that.
That was exciting for me, but the fantasies I created for people always ended. They’d go back to their lives with a wonderful memory, but with not much else. Same job they didn’t love. Same lackluster relationship. Same dreams and fears stopping them from achieving those visions. Except with a wine-stained party dress at the dry cleaners. That was maddening to me.
And I realized that I was also in a prison. I was in a career that I half-enjoyed. While on weeknights and weekends I was coaching and training adults to live their best life.
When you are trapped in a job that is unfulfilling, it’s a horrid existence. But I pushed on, enveloping myself deeper in the role because I did not yet have the courage to break out.
To be frank, I pushed myself too hard. I worked too much, slept too little, and over-exercised. Despite my work around exotic canapes and micro-desserts I subsisted on lettuce and cans of tuna. In my mind: It was part of my role as an event planner to look fabulous and I went to painstaking measures to do this.
My body broke down, burned out. It was cataclysmic. Abruptly one day I left my job. I had to disconnect from the world to recalibrate from the two years of extreme stress I’d put on myself. For eight months. I simply dropped out, and disappeared from my life.
Long, dark, crushing depression set in as my body broke down. I almost died. Eventually, I was hospitalized and this helped my recoupe.
What facing death taught me about life, and the true power all humans possess…
When I reclaimed my life, I was a new person.
Being close to death, brought me closer to life.
I had simplified my entire context of what was important. I learned that life is simply about only a few important things:
- Spending your VERY PRECIOUS TIME doing what you LOVE.
- Enjoy the company of awesome people who want the best for you and the world
- Grow. Do your best to be the best
- Contribute. Share your unique gifts. Empower others. Grow humanity.
I also learned how powerful all humans truly are.
And so, I hopped out of that hospital bed with more power than I’d ever possessed. I stopped working in the career that was killing my soul. What was next for me was to throw myself into the personal growth industry. What was to come was a life that I hoped for, but couldn’t fathom.
Kay becomes a Personal Growth Expert
I went back to school to study Neuroscience. I built my own businesses. Some were semi-successful, some not at all. I coached more clients. I started writing. And as I began my journey to build a platform the Universe helped me out (in my experience that is what happens). I was given the opportunity to co-author a book for Pearson Education. Super You: How Technology is Revolutionizing What it Means To Be Human. Following that book I went on to write seven more.
This led me to an opportunity of a lifetime as a coach to train with Robbins Research International. In 2017, I was handpicked as one of 30 of the world’s top coaches. I had the honor of being trained for many months by Tony Robbins’ team.
In 2018, I joined Mindvalley where I led the Learning Design Team, building online programs at their headquarters in Malaysia. I also became Vishen Lakhiani’s personal book collaborator, co-writing his second book. I am privileged to work with Lakhiani. He is a genius. To help him shape his words and revolutionary transformational techniques into more books for the world is a dream. His second book, which we produced together over 2019, will be available across the world wherever books are sold in May 2020.
So what’s next? I am currently working on another amazing project with another brilliant industry expert (top secret at this point, sorry) while I continue to write my own books and develop content here on this site to help people realize who they really are and what is possible for them.
Storytelling is one of the most powerful mediums for communication and transforming lives
So thank you for visiting my site, reading my creations, following me, and sharing my content. Your support means the world to me. If you like what you read and get value from it, please share it and pass it on. In doing so, you help spread more emotional intelligence training to better your life and the lives of others, and you help me forward my mission.
If you’d like to connect personally, I’d love to hear from you. Please email me directly at [email protected]